Hey readers. So…what a week huh? Yeah I suck at small talk so I’m just going to jump right in here. It seems we weren’t the only ones that noticed all the crybabies running around with hurt feelings lately. Yesterday’s New York Times featured an op-ed piece written by Bill Maher titled “Please Stop Apologizing” in which Bill addresses the whining epidemic currently plaguing our nation. It’s good stuff.
Is anybody else watching “Awake?” What a trip that is. For those of you who don’t know, it’s about a cop who was in a car accident with his wife and son. And when he wakes up in the morning his wife is alive but his son died. And the next day when he wakes up his son is alive and his wife is dead. And it just goes back and forth like that every day. So he lives these two lives and he can’t figure out which one is reality and which one is the dream. The only ones he’s told are his two shrinks, and they’re both like “i’m the real one, trust me.” I don’t know about you but that would be a one-way ticket to the funny farm for me.
Big ups to Alert Reader Cody for pointing out a mistake I made on Wednesday’s post. I said that the Violence Against Women Act had passed in the Senate with a unanimous 415 vote. Yeah, there’s only 100 members of the Senate. I meant the House of Representatives. Duh. I swear I’m not a total idiot but I usually write late at night and I also take a lot of allergy medication. My bad.
Speaking of Congress…remember yesterday I told you about the judges that weren’t being confirmed because the Senate Republicans were filibustering the heck out of the whole process? Well, guess what? Harry Reid threatened a cloture on their asses and they made a deal and cleared the way to confirm 14 new judges by May 7. I actually learned of this a few days ago but I was saving it for today’s post. Like a sweet little gift for you. Know what else makes it sweeter?
Go ahead, guess.
Alright I’ll tell you.
And boom goes the dynamite. Yes, four of the judges the President nominated are openly gay. Why is that a big deal? Because it makes our judicial system more diverse and that is always a good a thing. Don’t let any knuckleheads tell you any different. Unfortunately, one of the nominees, Edward DuMont, withdrew his nomination because he just couldn’t stand all the Republican obstructionism. Imagine that. So congrats to Judge Michael Fitzgerald, Alison Nathan, and Paul Oetken.
Ok Kids, that’s all I’ve got for today. Unless some crazy shite goes down over the weekend that i just HAVE to get off my chest I’ll be back on Monday. Until then, enjoy this video.
McConnell: I’m filibustering 17 judges because Reid made Republicans look bad. That’s right. The biggest butt hurt cry baby of the week was Senate minority leader Mitch McConnell, the Republican from Kentucky. Now for those of you who don’t know, our country is in a bit of a crisis right now because we are short on judges. President Obama has nominated a whole bunch, but the Republicans don’t want to approve any of them. The last time they pulled this nonsense was with President Clinton (shocker) in 1998 when they systematically blocked his nominations as well. Back then Supreme Court Chief Justice Rehnquist chided his fellow conservatives saying that “vacancies cannot remain at such high levels indefinitely without eroding the quality of justice.” So what is so wrong with these judges that McConnell and his shiftless cohorts won’t approve them?
Nothing. Not a damn thing.
Mitchy Boy is just embarrassed because the Democratic majority leader Harry Reid brought attention to the fact that judges weren’t getting appointed. And tried to *gasp* compromise.
This whole thing makes my brain hurt so instead of trying to explain it I’ll do a re-enactment. It goes a little something like this:
Reid: Hey Mitch, our courts are really backed up so we should go ahead and vote and approve all those judges that the President nominated.
McConnell: No, we don’t wanna.
Reid: Well why not?
McConnell: Because the President is a Democrat.
Reid: Any other reason?
McConnell: Nope. The judges are fine. In fact, we’ve already decided that we are going to approve them. We just don’t want to do it right now. It’s more fun this way. *giggles*
Reid: Ok then. How about we vote on that highway bill first and then we’ll vote on the judges?
McConnell: Maybe next week.
Miscellaneous Reporter: Senator Reid, how come this Congress isn’t getting anything done? What is the status of the highway bill?
Reid: Well, we’re trying. But the Republicans are filibustering, so we are at a standstill.
McConnell: How dare you! How dare you say such things to make us look bad! That’s it! We’re not voting on the highway bill. We’re not approving judges. We’re not gonna do anything! We are going to fili-freakin-buster our chapped asses off. And it’s not our fault, it’s the Democrats’ fault because Reid embarrassed us. Now somebody change my diaper.
So the Republicans are filibustering to get even with the Democrats for pointing out that they were filibustering. And they wonder why they’ve been dubbed the most obstructionist do-nothing Congress in the history of ever. Maybe next week they can all double dog dare each other to finally raise minimum wage. So there you have it, the biggest butt rash of the week award goes to Mitch McConnell and the rest of the
toddlers Republicans running amok at the daycare Capital.